Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
