am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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