Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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