that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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