I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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