i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I will be naked everywhere
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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