I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
