i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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