Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
