Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
