It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you never un-have a 4some
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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