So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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