My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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