i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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