The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That accounts for only three of the penises
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
