He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
