We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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