i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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