its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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