Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
3pm strippers are depressing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
