i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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