On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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