She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
