i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
