The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's always time for handjobs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
