She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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