Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
