think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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