Operation Purity has been aborted
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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