well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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