Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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