She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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