Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
