I want to make a zoo with you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
