I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize