just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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