i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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