Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
