i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
