Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
