I haven't been this sober since birth.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
