matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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