If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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