if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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