We're like a lot better than the average bears
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
