I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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