Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I intend to get homeless drunk
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
