dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
