cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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