5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
