I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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