For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
