how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
