the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
