Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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