At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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