he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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