I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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