roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
